Hope
by Naasade-Jurkadir-Mando-Dalase
Summary: Kix can't quite believe that Barriss is a traitor. Kix/Barriss ... more hurt than comfort ... based on reulte's Going Home Again - specifically chapters 6 and 12 ... one-shot ... rated for safety


_**A/N: This is a story based off of reulte's Going Home Again – specifically, chapters 6 and 12. You don't have to read it first, but it is an amazing story.**_

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Kix shook his head. "You're wrong."

Rex put a hand on his medic's shoulder. "I'm sorry, _vod_."

Kix brushed the hand away and stalked off, grabbing his medical supplies on his way out. He didn't know where he was going until he reached the brig. Determined, he marched up to Commander Fox. "I'm here to see the prisoner – the Jedi."

Fox shook his head. "No visitors."

"I'm a medic. I'm here to assess her for injuries. Last I checked, we haven't stooped to the Seperatist's level of care for their prisoners."

"We have droids for that."

Kix gritted his teeth, about to take a huge risk. "I'm here under General Unduli's orders."

"The 41st were banned from seeing the traitor for any reason, per Commander Gree's orders."

"Do I look 41st to you?"

Fox paused, clearly thinking. "Your orders will need to be confirmed by the General."

"Then by all means, confirm them."

"Watch your tone…."

"CT-5936, Lieutenant."

Fox nodded and turned to the holocomm. Jedi General Luminara Unduli shortly appeared. "May I help you, Commander?"

"Yes, General. I need confirmation of orders. Did you send Lieutenant CT-5936 of the 501st here to assess the traitor Offee for injuries?"

Luminara's holographic eyes met Kix'. "I believe I did. I look forward to hearing his full report."

Kix nodded gratefully. He'd prefer to keep this to himself, but it was a small sacrifice.

"Thank you, General." Fox turned off the comm. "Are you carrying any weapons?"

Kix shook his head and emptied his pack. "Bare essentials. Bacta patches and hyposprays – painkillers and anesthetics."

"Leave your comm here."

"Yes, sir." Kix handed over the piece of tech, then followed two of Fox' men to the cell.

"You sure you want to be in there alone?" one of the troopers asked. "We still don't have audio working properly on any of the security cams."

"I'll be fine," Kix said, stepping into the cell.

Barriss was curled up on her cot, facing the wall. "What do you want, trooper?"

"Really? I highly doubt you've forgotten me."

"Kix." Barriss sat up and faced him, and for a moment, he forgot his doubts and his anger.

But they returned with a vengeance. "Tell me you didn't do it. You were framed, too, but you took the fall to protect your friend."

Barriss laughed. "This is why you came?"

"I came because I love you."

Barriss quieted, looking chastened. "I know."

"You killed my brothers."

"Yes."

"You framed my Commander and friend."

"Yes."

"And you lied to me."

"Never."

Kix motioned for her to continue.

Barriss sighed. "That moment – that one moment – on Kamino, I gave you my all. You would have seen it. It was actually in part that encounter that showed me-"

"No." Kix cut her off with a sharp gesture. "You don't get to make me implicit in your fall."

"I love you," Barriss whispered.

"And yet you had no problem killing those who wore my exact same face."

"The helmets helped."

Kix quivered with rage. "Do you regret anything?" he spat.

"This conversation."

"Why did you do it?"

"Why does anyone do anything? Because there was a cause I believed in."

"'Was'?"

"Is. But I can't presently do anything about it, now can I?"

"Why didn't they just execute you?"

Barriss just sat there and smiled.

"Are you hurt?" Kix managed to ask.

"No."

"Good."

Before he could turn, she flew forward and brushed her lips against his. "I'm glad I got to see you again."

Kix' features twisted in rage and he pushed her away before stiffly turning and marching out of her cell.

"You okay, _vod_?" a trooper asked.

Kix ignored the question. "I need to report to General Unduli."

By the time he'd found Barriss' mentor at the Jedi Temple, he'd barely gotten his emotions under restraint.

"Kix, is it?" Luminara asked.

Kix nodded. "Yes, sir."

"How is my former Padawan?"

"She's completely and utterly-" Kix stopped himself before he said something he would regret.

"Evil?" Luminara sounded defeated.

"No, sir. Not yet."

"Then there is still some hope left for her."

An image sprang to Kix' mind, unbidden: a clone's face, but narrower, greener, with fuller lips and blue eyes. He'd always liked the name Hope.

Luminara glanced up, perceiving his thought. "You and Barriss-"

"It was nothing."

"Forgive me if I don't quite believe you."

"Nothing we ever acted on, though we both knew how the other felt," Kix conceded. "General, if you report this, I will either be reconditioned or labeled defective and subsequently disposed of."

Luminara was silent for a moment. "I see no reason to report it if you did not act on it. But you loved her – even despite the risk?"

"After the war… I wanted to spend the rest of my life with her. And I knew she felt the same."

"Does she still?"

"I don't know. I think she's confused – that she doesn't even know."

"Do you still?"

Kix drummed his fingers against his thigh as he thought. Finally, he nodded. "I do. I always will. Maybe there's still a path of redemption for her."

"You sound like a Jedi."

Kix shrugged. "Someone's got to be the 501st's voice of reason." He was quiet for a moment. "I had hoped… that she didn't really do it."

Luminara bowed her head. "Hope is a gift in this war. Unfortunately, it is often wrong; but still, we must hold on to it."

Kix nodded slowly. He latched onto that image of his and Barriss' daughter again, and he smiled. Maybe one day…

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Fin

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_**A/N: Many thanks to reulte, as well as to all ye lovely readers. Now. Go check out the story Going Home Again (by reulte) – it's totally worth it!**_

_**Vod: brother/sister/(informally)friend**_

_**I'd like to say that I made up Kix' rank and number. (His rank is based on Star Trek TNG, where Beverly Crusher is Lieutenant Commander. No Lieutenant Commanders in the GAR to my knowledge, so I went with Lieutenant. XD Logic! The numbers are completely random.) Feel free to use them, but they are not canon.**_

_**Please review, constructive criticism is always welcome! :)**_


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